In This Issue Article:
What Makes for a Good Referral?
Tech Tip: Managing Your In-box
What Makes for a Good Referral?
How to Handle Bad Ones. How to Make Good Ones!
How many times have you had someone referred to you by a colleague, business acquaintance or friend for no perceivable reason? Eventually you both agreed it was a nice chat and you should stay in touch. Sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t.
Have you ever found yourself in a discussion of the referrer’s motivations with a person referred? Of course it is always good to have one more networking connection and one more resource. You never know, right? But isn’t your time valuable enough to expect any referral to be worthwhile somehow?
This is what Reid Hoffman, founder of Linkedin.com, says on his Linkedin profile about how he wants referrals:
(1) why this request will improve the world in some way (as I have a strong interest in these projects)
(2) why my expertise is particularly needed for this (not just that I happen to be around),
(3) what my interest might be in the particular project
(4) what makes this connection useful or important to you”
After years of watching my clients muddle around making and giving referrals to no one’s benefit, I realized that making good referrals is one huge hairball within the networking process that gets regularly dropped with a thud.
Why do smart, well-educated, professionals make incredibly bad referrals to each other? Here are three of the most common situations:
They Don’t Connect the Dots
Attribute this to being over-busy, ADD, or information overload, they know what you do but don’t understand how you make a living. For example, if you are an expert in Search Engine Optimization, they will refer you to someone else who is as well. Well, maybe you can find a common ground with your competition and that’s all well and good. But wouldn’t you rather meet a prospective customer?
I have gotten introductions and referrals to other career coaches by people that I perceived to be consummate networkers. How I have handled it is to actually ask them to critique my elevator pitch, my business data sheet or the about page of my website and give me feedback. I ask if I have made my value proposition clear enough and based on that what kinds of referrals could I expect people to give me going forward. When they do transgress again with referral, I simple resend the data sheet and remind them that it serves my business better to get x kind of referrals.
They Over-Network
With every contact met, they are driven to help provide resources, connections and information. I call it the do-gooder syndrome. Somehow they got it wired into them that a good networker is one who keeps on giving. Since, they always try to refer everyone they meet to someone who could possibly help, all their other networking contacts can soon be worn thin by over exposure. Often the referred resource cannot be of any value to that contact but the over-networker gets the gold star for trying (see previous category).
This approach works with a well-established, very broad, deep, and substantial network to refer to without overloading it. Many MBA alumni on school networking lists get overexposed for this very reason. The numbers are often way too sparse in popular sectors such as consulting, venture capital and private equity so all those alumni end up overworked as networking resources and reluctant to proceed.
How do you avoid becoming the short-order cook in an over-networker’s referral restaurant?
You can privately request your over-networker to curb their enthusiasm, but you will be typically disregarded as they will not to be able to help themselves. The easiest way to abate the situation is to issue a polite refusal copying your over-networking referrer to any requests you receive through them. Saying no enough times encourages them to seek a yes elsewhere.
They Prevaricate to Avoid Direct Communications
This is certainly the most egregious type of networking referral as it is so disingenuous. However, I am often surprised at the silver lining for the two people connected can result regardless of the original referrer’s less well intend motivations.
A prevaricating networker may be able to help the person seeking help to them but for whatever reason they don’t want to or are not willing to help. To avoid directly saying no, they get rid of the request by referring them on to you instead. Don’t mix them up with the do-gooder who is well-intended or a dots connector who is clueless, as this person is acting entirely out their own perverse self-interest.
What do you do with a prevaricating networker who uses you in their networking recycling program? It does no good to approach them with the intention of having them own up to their own agenda. You can make clear the kinds of referrals the fit your business needs and ability to help. You make continue to be disregarded, so the best course is steer clear of them. Make sure you are end up on good terms with whomever they have referred to so not to be lumped in a negative perception as the prevaricating networker.
Improving Your Referral Skills
How do you improve your quality and level of referrals to others? Start with knowing your immediate network. You may have a database of over 1000 contacts and are directly familiar with 25%. Ask the 25% how you can help if the opportunity ever arises. Never assume you know, as that what can trip you up. Find out the kind of referrals they want and don’t want for their business and how they are willing to help others.
In the case of the other 75% of your contact database that you do not know as well, ask them for permission privately before you cast a contact like bread upon the water in their direction. Find out if this referral is reasonable for them to entertain as a favor to you or a value proposition to them.
Why is this important? Because you have no idea as a consultant, a big business developer for your business, or a job seeker how much making bad referrals can trash your word of mouth reputation. In fact it can make you the laughing stock of multiple networking circles and I have seen it happen.
This is also a two-edged sword because it is incumbent upon you as referral receiver to clearly spell out what kinds of referrals you are willing to take and what kinds your really want from your network. They don’t get to guess or make you into their referral dump.
If you do it right, you will have made a contribution to referee and the recipient of the referral. It builds what has been called a “gratitude account’ with the all parties involved for your later use for more referrals or your own business and career. In this economy, you never know when you will need to call in your chits for help and having made good referrals in their direction ensures them to be there for you.
Tech Tip: Managing Your Inbox with ClearContext
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